Pain.

There is no coming to consciousness without pain.
— Carl Jung

Pain can be the source of many of your insecurities, it can cause you to self-medicate, for some it can cause depression, anxiety, anger, and sadness. it's apart of life, however, you don't have to allow it to take control and cause self-destruction. Start to learn how to use pain to push you forward, better understand yourself, and enjoy your life presently that much more.

Pain can be a soul reason people don’t get to fully enjoy their lives. There’s no escaping it..throughout our lives’ we all have to face different spectrums of pain. You either face pain...change and cope in a healthy manor or face the pain...shutdown and then often become self-destructive.

there’s numerous things that cause us not only physical, but serious emotional pain which is what I'm discussing...

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The pain you face is yours, there are various degrees to which pain affects different people, therefore, pain is relative. You might not feel as painful about some things as someone else does. You need to remember we are all equipped to face different things, so any judgements need to stop.

Acknowledge the pain. You can’t run away from your emotions. I’ve mentioned in the past that the more you run away from them, the more they pile on and calmly wait until you have a quiet moment, then they all come out. Start to really feel your emotions, even the pain, it all needs to come out it’s just the way we are designed. We need to be social about our internal struggles, it’s what has been shown to help. That could mean being social in a creative, physical or mental way. Find something that works to help you express yourself.

You can't numb the pain. Self-medication as I have witnessed is one of the leading causes to addiction. I use a methapor with my clients…addiction is a tree, it needs roots to grow. Therefore, pain is a solid foundation for an addiction to start. The more pain a person who is abusing substances has, the harder it can be for them to stop because if they stop it will bring them to their reality, to all the pain they've been numbing. Trust me, I fully understand when you’ve experienced serious pain…sometimes the only way to get up and get out is to self-medicate and then it becomes an addiction..it can happen to absolutely anyone. However, this solution just causes more pain, more hurt and loss. Realize that pain although unbearable at times...is temporary and eventually it will be apart of the past. So when you're looking for the easy way out, numbing it, understand the right choice is the hard choice, just feel and move through it.

Pain causes us to revaluate our self-worth. Whether it's rejection, the loss of a relationship, work dilemmas, family problems...sometimes you can believe that the issue is...there's something wrong with you. It's actually an easy cop-out...don't take it. Focus on what is great about you, your strengths (we each have our own), do things to fill your time and realize that rejection is apart of life in every aspect. 

Sometimes people face the pain of loneliness. It's a dark and lonely road when you look at life as merely a place to enjoy only when you have someone. For me, when I'm alone I have meaningful realizations and develop my self-awareness. You have to remember that to attach yourself to someone to make you happy is not a the longterm answer for this life. You have to find happiness in the painful solitude. This life is a beautiful thing to enjoy with someone, but it's also just as beautiful to enjoy it with yourself.

Know when to seek help. The truth is some pain sticks with us. You might have experienced something traumatic in which you can’t do everyday things and see certain things because it will trigger the emotional/physical pain to come back. Sometimes you need to learn when you don’t get professional help, that’s just you not wanting to admit that there’s pain that’s stopping you from truly living. So be willing to allow professionals do their job and help you. There are plenty of sucky professionals out there, but I promise you there’s way more good ones. So get a professional opinion, or chat with me!

Failure is evident, mistakes are made and we feel the pain from them. However, you have a choice...you can either look at that moment and learn something for yourself and move on, or you can keep reliving the pain over and over again which gets you nowhere, but feeling more pain.

(Obviously for pain that is debilitating in which you feel you have no control over and makes you unable to enjoy your life…I recommend you seek out professional help immediately…no one should have to suffer in silence for things that are out of your control.)

The road to self-improvement is not easily crossed. It is filled with mess, pain, anger and more pain...however, on this road there's all this enjoyment you can have if you start to rethink the way you feel and learn from pain.