From a young age I always felt different...weird and out of place even though I fit in everywhere. I felt uncomfortable in my body and used my personality to make others comfortable. I always said yes and I allowed people to make my decisions for me even though I was so outgoing and outspoken. I went through some stuff that made me realize I need to embrace my weirdness and no matter what my own personal happiness is what matters....being selfish at times can lead you to finding who you are...


"I'm defined as selfish and I own it because I know what makes me happy and what I want. I love being me and it took me a long time to get here, so I'm embracing myself and this life every damn day"

-Rebecca G. Rean

Let me give you some background as to why I feel selfishness is important...

I openly discuss my lowest point thus far. I want you to know that it wasn't always easy for me. I can pinpoint certain moments. I was in my college head pounding on the cold tiled floor. After I had mustered up enough energy to get up and look in the mirror...I saw that my eyes were completely blood-shot and my hip bones were protruding after I had just finished vomiting up the one meal I had that day (I preferred starvation, but I wasn't picky when I needed the feeling of emptiness inside of me) I just remember looking in the mirror and saying, "Is this it?" Suicide had crossed my mind countless times because I wanted quiet, I didn't even think for myself, my eating disorder was in full control of my every move. I was trying to be this college girl that could function "normally" (p.s there is no normal)...happy, loud, smiley Becky and all the while hide that I was secretly dying inside. I didn't want to live one more day in that body and in that mind. Don't get it twisted, I do not want nor need any pity, what I experienced developed me into the woman I am today...

Well, it still feels like a lifetime ago that I was that low...that broken, empty and unhappy. I have reached a place in my life where I am genuinely happy with who I am inside and out. I have reached a place where I can say "I love you" in the mirror and mean it. Hey, I'm the first person to say that's corny as hell, but you need to be able to do that to feel real self-love and begin to blossom to your own true happiness. That was something I could never ever imagined doing all those years ago. Thanks to me being selfish I found the woman I am today and want to continue to be. I'm still not perfect, no one will ever be...some days I compare myself, but I always counteract those thoughts with the realism that we are given different attributes and different lives. I am grateful to have what I have...and sometimes you need to take moments to be grateful to remind yourself of all you really have. I have been at a serious low and struggled with myself, my self-worth and my self-love. I'm selfish because honestly, it's not that I deserve it, it's what is necessary for me to get to know the real me and find what I want to get out of this life.

So in saying all this...this is what makes me want to discuss that loving yourself doesn't mean you can't do things for you. I have a perfect example for you. If you follow me on instagram you probably already know I got my lips done. I received juvederm injections in the top and bottom lips, it's a temporary filler (for more info leave me a comment, email me, or contact me on instagram I'm happy to talk about it.) I feel absolutely no reason to hide it, if anything I completely embrace it because I had great lips, but now I have better ones! That's what I have found hard for some people to grasp...I don't care how you live your life, because I'm over here living my life doing things I want for me.'s YOUR whatever makes you happy.

This is what I long as you aren't hurting anyone in the process, breaking any laws or moral codes, why the hell can't you get your lips done? I was being selfish for me and that is okay because we need to start learning to be more selfish for our own happiness...

In saying that here's some selfish things you can do to help you with your self-love aka selfishness.....

We're in an era of selfies (have you looked at my instagram?...I love selfies), self-promotion and creating yourself. You care about yourself and feel good about who you are...don't be afraid to show it...SHOW IT, FLAUNT IT, EMBRACE IT who cares...the people that want to see it will and those who don't, well see ya later! Frankly, I do things for me and sometimes I have to remember that...stick to you and don't let people have power on how you feel about yourself. In the end, you control the feelings you feel about yourself.

It has been researched that people who have solid self-love have less feelings of sadness, depression, loneliness and feel better overall. The key to help eliminating anxiety and depression is to develop a healthy level of self-esteem to combat it. That means being selfish and finding the things that make you solely happy. Treat yourself when you can and start to explore different sides of yourself. This will allow you to find happiness in your solitude.

Being selfish helps you be better with others. When you start to put yourself first before others when you need too, you'll see a change in yourself. You will develop a sense of self-power that we all need to learn how to acquire. My one professor used to say "no" is a full sentence. Not sure where these rules about always saying yes happened, but there are times when we need our time and things we want to do. We don't have to make others happy all the time. I'm not saying never do anything for anyone...I'm saying learn a balance, have time for others, but have time for yourself.

Selfishness will improve your decision making. Once you become self-aware of what makes you happy and keeps you in a state of bliss, you'll learn what makes you feel the opposite and what to stay away from. You will start to learn the decisions that make you happy and learn what you want to get out of this life. 

Be more selfish because the last thing I want you to do is come to a place where you lose who you are because you've put everyone else's happiness before your own.

I wear my lips loud and proud...I love them!

I love who I am and I love the person I've come to be. I don't expect everyone to agree nor to understand and that's okay...because guess what...that is THEIR opinion and they're entitled to it.

I'm Becky, this is truly me, I can be vain, selfish, outgoing, vulgar (to Name a few) and then I put all my stuff aside and help others reach their potential and attempt to guide them on their journeys. That's what keeps me balanced. I've come a long way from the girl that wanted to escape this life...

We spend this life worrying what others think, working a job that kills our happiness, doing the conventional things that we were taught and learn from previous generations. Start to realize that we are nothing without our own happiness in this life. what you feel you need to do for you is your prerogative. No one should allow you to feel ashamed for things you want for you. BE SELFISH!